Concerned Parent: Hello, 911?
Operator: Yes, what's your emergency?
Concerned Parent: Yeah, I'm on vacation and I dropped my daughter off at my mother's yesterday and I'm not totally sure where my daughter is now.
Operator: Did your mother indicate that your daughter is missing?
Concerned Parent: No, but I mean, I'm not totally positive where exactly my daughter is. You see, my mother's phone is broken and I don't have internet here, so I'm not getting updates on my daughter every 2 minutes, like any reasonable, caring, totally-not-paranoid parent would require. I can't be sure if my daughter is watching tv or playing with her Legos in the basement or pretending that she's a pretty, pretty mermaid in the pool. My mother might have even taken her to the grocery store! There are strangers and meat grinders at the grocery store, it's very dangerous! I'm concerned, it's possible she's dead, right?
Operator: Okay ma'am, but do you have any reason to believe your daughter is presently in danger?
Concerned Parent: No, but, you know, per Caylee's Law, it's been 24 hours since I've seen her and I haven't heard from my mother. I have no idea where my child is exactly. What if she's playing with those awful kids down the street and they're hacking off her limbs at this very instant? I just wanted to report her as missing, since I haven't seen her and I have no reason to believe that my mother hasn't drowned my daughter in the toilet or the neighbors haven't fed her to their pitbull. Please send someone before it's too late!
-----OR-----
Concerned Parent: Help! I murdered my son!
Operator: Can you repeat that, ma'am?
Concerned Parent: I murdered my son! I dumped him in the river! It's been about an hour since I saw his lifeless corpse floating away. I popped by Wendy's on my way home, I was craving a Frosty, and I stopped to buy new shoes, mine are soaked in blood. Anyway, I just wanted to report him as deceased. I don't want a felony on my record for failing to report his death, in accordance with Caylee's Law.
Operator: Yeah, this is a great law, it really deters people from murdering children.
