So I have this thought every time I use the bathroom, particularly when using a public restroom, and I see these women (as a woman, I pretty much only see women in bathrooms. I imagine, however, these behaviors can be observed across genders) who use paper towels to open the bathroom door or who stand around and wait for someone else to enter/exit so that they can avoid touching that germ-riddled door knob.
Anyway, this thought. So I just finished doing my business on the toilet, right? And the next obvious step is to wash my hands, because I'm a pretty clean person. And then I dry my hands, because who wants wet hands? And then I leave the bathroom, sans-germs, and I never get sick and the world is a beautiful place and someone offers me a lifetime supply of free candy.
But wait... I missed a step or two. After I finished my toilet-y business, I touched the faucet. With my germy "hey, I just emptied my bowels" hands. But that's cool though, right, because I scrubbed the germs away with their mortal enemy, triclosan?
But then the step after that requires me to turn off the faucet, because what kind of terrible enemy-of-the-environment just leaves the tap running? So I turn the faucet off. I turn off the faucet that I touched with my previously dirty hands.
I touch the faucet that I sullied with my gross, post-toilet hands.
Anyway, I have this thought at that moment, while my hands are dripping and the faucet is still running and I'm like, maybe if I touch the faucet with my now-clean hands, those germs will be on my hand again. Because if these people, who are obviously pushing their critical thinking skills to the absolute limit, think that touching a metal door handle, which is not exactly a pleasant environment for your average germ, will result in hands that are suddenly crawling with the world's most deadly diseases and maybe even AIDS, then why would it be any different for this faucet?
But then I realize, oh, right, I have this immune system thing and the trace amount of salmonella or whatever that is potentially still alive on that door handle is no match for it. So I accept that my hands are going to be immediately crawling with germs no matter what I do, because germs are basically omnipresent, and I turn off the faucet, leave the rest room by opening the door sans-paper towel like a champ and I go out into the big bad world where I touch and interact with things that are all swarming with bacteria.
