It was suggested to me by no less than 10 people that I ought to start my own blog. Since I'm such a giving person, I decided to throw those people a bone. Here it is!
In return, I would like you to throw me a bone: stop bringing up the fact that I don't drive.
I have observed the way people discuss (with me) my lack of a driver's license and you would think, given their level of concern, that I told them that I abstain from drinking water and that breathing is something I don't really take seriously. That driving is a vital aspect of Life and that I am somehow living incompletely or perhaps even dangerously.
You know what's dangerous? Driving. Other drivers. My disturbing lack of coordination.
Driving is dangerous. I can't fathom the type of behavior I've seen on the road. Why people talk on a cellphone or text while driving is beyond me. Nothing you're saying is that important, trust me.
I can't control what other drivers do and I don't like that. Even if I am a perfectly adequate driver, (all my experience driving has suggested that I am) it is safe to assume many people are not. I have observed that this is case. They are not careful, not aware of their surroundings and usually swing from being too passive to too aggressive. They're simply unpredictable.
Even if you argue that major accidents don't happen that often, (ETA: and that the road is dangerous for all people, including passengers and those on buses and pedestrians and so on) accidents often happen to me. I'm a klutz. I walk into walls on a regular basis. I have tripped in public far too many times to count. There are always at least three bruises somewhere on my person, and several cuts to compliment those bruises. My hand-eye coordination barely exists (which is why I never played sports and instead focused on the arts while in school).
Furthermore, while I have wonderful reflexes, my reflexes generally have me cowering the moment anything potentially life threatening occurs. This is good if I'm caught in a gunfight, which I routinely am, because my reaction would be to duck and cover. But that would also be my reaction in a car, if another car was about to run into me head on. This is not an exaggeration. This is not an excuse. It is the truth. I would scream like a little girl and cover my eyes. Fact.
Most of the arguments I've heard for driving are baffling. I have no need for a car, as I live in a large city with a great public transit system. So that argument is out the window. The one I get the most, however, really blows me away: "Cars let you be more independent."
What.
Independent? Independent from what? Mommy and daddy? I don't live at home, irrelevant.
Independent from relying on other people to get you somewhere? I love taking the bus or metro, irrelevant.
Or maybe this mean that with a car, you can go anywhere you want at anytime. Well... irrelevant! It costs money to go anywhere. You're not free from the financial burden of driving, which is how I see it. I would not be going anywhere unless I had the money to back it up or unless it was absolutely necessary that I go to that place. And if it's necessary to go to that place, (say, to go to the grocery store so that you can eat so that you don't starve so that you don't die) you're not going "anywhere you want at anytime," you're going where you're required to be at the time you're required to be there (after all, stores aren't always open all time time). That's not freedom, that's an obligation.
I feel independent by not driving. I have not given in to this social norm that forces me to be a slave to my driving. In order to get somewhere, I have to rely on my legs or ability to ride a bike (you may think that riding a bike is easy but I assure you, for a klutz, it is not. I once fell off my bike and broke my arm). Or my ability to read a bus/train timetable.
Which brings me to my next point: there's a hefty price tag associated with driving. Driving is expensive. Me getting a license is an empty gesture because I wouldn't be driving. Know why? Even if I had a job, I'm not going to pay for a car. For auto insurance. For gas. For maintenance. If I had money, I would have more important things to spend it on, like food and contributing to rent and paying off loans and buying presents for my cat. A car, and its associated costs, are at the bottom of the list. There is nothing lower on my list than "a car." I would buy a steam shovel before I bought a car. So that I could dig a pool. A pool that I could relax in during the time I spend not stuck in traffic and buy pool toys for with the money I didn't spend on gas.
I also simply find it rude and inconsiderate. I cannot tell you how many nightmares I've had about driving in my life. In these dreams, I just can't drive. I drive too fast, can't brake in time, run red lights, mow down pedestrians and cute little kittens, somehow drive off bridges because it was, for some reason, impossible for me to stay between the lines, etc etc. I have had these dreams since I was about 13. Excuse me for having a panic attack when I'm behind the wheel. So sorry if I offended you with my totally legitimate fear. I realize that maybe my inability to conform scares you but that's your problem, not mine.
What's wrong with me waiting until I decide that driving is inevitable? I never said never. I'm not ready to drive now and, once again, have no need for a car - I have my legs, a bike, the bus and the metro. I made the responsible decision that I am currently incapable of driving and that driving would be an unnecessary strain on my already tight budget. This is very mature of me, I feel, and you should not attempt to take that away from me. Shame on you.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
In Defense of Valentine's Day
Okay, I have a boyfriend so you all you single people out there will probably claim that I have zero credibility. But let me let you in on a little secret: I've been single on Valentine's Day before. Would you care to know my track record for not being single on Valentine's Day? This will be my THIRD Valentine's Day in which my Facebook status will let all the world know that I'm "In A Relationship." Third. I'm 24 years old. So trust me, I know how much it can suck being "alone" on Valentine's Day. I've got 21 years of being "alone" to back up my credibility on this topic.
But here's the thing: I was never alone. I had friends and family who loved me. LOVED ME. Imagine that! People who loved me on Valentine's Day, which is what the holiday is allegedly about. Imagine that! So unless you're not only single, but also the Most Hated Person In the World, you're not unloved and lonely on Valentine's Day. You're just too hung up on the idea of dating to let yourself see that. You're the one who decided that getting a Valentine's card from your best friend "just wasn't the same." You're the one that wished that the little teddy bear your mom or dad gave you was from your super cute crush. And you're the one who failed to consider that you're not the only single person out there. Lots of people don't have a Valentines. Lots of people did not cave in to the Hallmark Agenda.
And then there's the people who claim that Valentine's Day is the ultimate display of capitalist greed, that it only exists as a means for Hallmark and the flower companies to make a few extra bucks.
Ok.
But what about diamond engagement rings? As the Wedding/Diamond Ring Industry (does such a thing exist?) would have me believe, the diamond ring is a very traditional aspect of courting. Every little girl grew up dreaming of the day her soul-mate would get down on one knee and offer her a diamond engagement ring in exchange for her hand in marriage, because diamonds are forever, just like your relationship. It's so romantic! It's so sweet!
It's... well, bullshit! In the 1940s, when people were of the opinion that eating was more important than diamonds, DeBeers realized that they needed to convince them otherwise. The campaign to bling out every bride-to-be was launched by using Hollywood actresses to wear diamond rings in public. Then fashion writers were bribed to write about this "trend," thus generating public interest. All of this was capped off when the aforementioned slogan "A Diamond Is Forever" was used to suggest to men that if they just gave up a few months worth of salary, their love would be eternal.
Sound like a certain holiday to you? No, wait, that sounds like every holiday to me. Every holiday is a capitalist scheme to make money. Give me a holiday where you don't see endless advertisements for sales, give me a holiday where you aren't convinced to buy even just a little something to celebrate. Even Martin Luther King Jr has been exploited. Go on, Google "Martin Luther King Sales." Sounds like someone is trying to make a buck or two off of a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Go figure.
Instead of bitching and moaning about what a horrible holiday it is, why not celebrate it in your own way? Why not celebrate love in its many forms? I'm not Christian and yet I still celebrate Christmas. There's nothing stopping you, except perhaps your lack of imagination.
Or why not just ignore it? Why acknowledge it if you hate it so much? Why do you waste your energy, what are you trying to prove? I hate modern pop music, so I avoid listening to the radio. When I was single, instead of feeling resentful of everyone and everything (or just angry while I saw other girls get flowers and chocolate while I just got homework) I just, well, didn't care. Honestly. So what if that girl gets flowers? Millions of girls are getting flowers. And millions of girls aren't getting flowers. Neither you nor the girl receiving the flowers are special or unique in any way whatsoever.
Valentine's Day is not an attack on single people. It is an effort for Hallmark and the flower companies (and the chocolate companies, and the Teddy Bear makers, and so on and so forth) to make more money, I'll give you that. But everything is bastardized at this point in order to milk it for all it's worth. Valentine's Day is no different from Christmas, Halloween or Mother's Day.
But you love getting presents, getting free candy and your mom so those holidays are totally legitimate, right?
But here's the thing: I was never alone. I had friends and family who loved me. LOVED ME. Imagine that! People who loved me on Valentine's Day, which is what the holiday is allegedly about. Imagine that! So unless you're not only single, but also the Most Hated Person In the World, you're not unloved and lonely on Valentine's Day. You're just too hung up on the idea of dating to let yourself see that. You're the one who decided that getting a Valentine's card from your best friend "just wasn't the same." You're the one that wished that the little teddy bear your mom or dad gave you was from your super cute crush. And you're the one who failed to consider that you're not the only single person out there. Lots of people don't have a Valentines. Lots of people did not cave in to the Hallmark Agenda.
And then there's the people who claim that Valentine's Day is the ultimate display of capitalist greed, that it only exists as a means for Hallmark and the flower companies to make a few extra bucks.
Ok.
But what about diamond engagement rings? As the Wedding/Diamond Ring Industry (does such a thing exist?) would have me believe, the diamond ring is a very traditional aspect of courting. Every little girl grew up dreaming of the day her soul-mate would get down on one knee and offer her a diamond engagement ring in exchange for her hand in marriage, because diamonds are forever, just like your relationship. It's so romantic! It's so sweet!
It's... well, bullshit! In the 1940s, when people were of the opinion that eating was more important than diamonds, DeBeers realized that they needed to convince them otherwise. The campaign to bling out every bride-to-be was launched by using Hollywood actresses to wear diamond rings in public. Then fashion writers were bribed to write about this "trend," thus generating public interest. All of this was capped off when the aforementioned slogan "A Diamond Is Forever" was used to suggest to men that if they just gave up a few months worth of salary, their love would be eternal.
Sound like a certain holiday to you? No, wait, that sounds like every holiday to me. Every holiday is a capitalist scheme to make money. Give me a holiday where you don't see endless advertisements for sales, give me a holiday where you aren't convinced to buy even just a little something to celebrate. Even Martin Luther King Jr has been exploited. Go on, Google "Martin Luther King Sales." Sounds like someone is trying to make a buck or two off of a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Go figure.
Instead of bitching and moaning about what a horrible holiday it is, why not celebrate it in your own way? Why not celebrate love in its many forms? I'm not Christian and yet I still celebrate Christmas. There's nothing stopping you, except perhaps your lack of imagination.
Or why not just ignore it? Why acknowledge it if you hate it so much? Why do you waste your energy, what are you trying to prove? I hate modern pop music, so I avoid listening to the radio. When I was single, instead of feeling resentful of everyone and everything (or just angry while I saw other girls get flowers and chocolate while I just got homework) I just, well, didn't care. Honestly. So what if that girl gets flowers? Millions of girls are getting flowers. And millions of girls aren't getting flowers. Neither you nor the girl receiving the flowers are special or unique in any way whatsoever.
Valentine's Day is not an attack on single people. It is an effort for Hallmark and the flower companies (and the chocolate companies, and the Teddy Bear makers, and so on and so forth) to make more money, I'll give you that. But everything is bastardized at this point in order to milk it for all it's worth. Valentine's Day is no different from Christmas, Halloween or Mother's Day.
But you love getting presents, getting free candy and your mom so those holidays are totally legitimate, right?
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